Begin with the end in mind

I have been doing a lot of soul searching as of late. In cooking we have this saying,  "Begin with the end in mind." Also known as mise en plase (or as I like to call it, mess in place), it refers to the need to have all of the ingredients prepped out and ready to rock before beginning the cooking process. That way if the recipe says to immediatly add onions, the cook isn't scambling to cut onions while trying to keep the rest of the food at its optimal point. This is also why the advice is always given to read the recipe through once before even starting to prep for it. That way, you know what you need, how much you need of it, and how long the process will take. Begin with the end in mind.

I have been working through a book about being the right person in my own life so that when the man God has promised to me (and reminded me of constantly for the last four years, thank you prophetic entourage) shows up in my life I will be able to attract and notice him. Being present in my own life has always been a challenge for me because my dreams are so much bigger than I am. Still, if I never acknowledge them and start working towards them, they never will materialize.

My workbook suggested I write a list of all my life goals and slowly build a collection of pictures to symbolize each of my goals throughout the journey. Being a Real Simple reader, I got out my magazines and began to cut pictures that resonate with the dreams I have of the life I want to lead. Something transformative has taken place in the process of glue, scissors, and paper. I am starting to live my goals as naturally as breathing. I think I am starting to believe in the beauty of my own dreams.

I have written out a lifetime's worth of goals. Everything from present aspirations, work, friends, family, and leaving an inheritance are included. It's a beautiful dream, one I hope I can fully realize. The best part is that it's mine. I don't feel like I am faking it anymore. I know what I want, and that may be the hardest part of the process for me. At the end, I want to look Jesus in the eye and say, "We lived a beautiful dream together, you and I." I want him to say back to me, "Your life is scrumptious." That's my well done. And I know it will be wonderful because I will have been present for my life.

May you begin with the end in mind knowing that the dreams in your heart were put there by heaven to invite you to the river of delight. All of my love.

The most important thing you'll ever learn...

Someone asked me recently what is the most important thing I have learned from my past dating experience. I laughed. Do you know how much dating experience I have and how much of it has been disastrous? I could write a book full of dating lessons, what not to do. But the most important one? That's a tough call.

I think it might have actually come today. One of my best friends recommend I read a book titled Calling In The One. It deals with road blocks otherwise successful, well adjusted women put in their way when it comes to dating; the author asks those individuals to take seven weeks of daily practice to go through a lesson and exercise of some kind to help them get in touch with who they are and who they're looking for. Today was about leaving behind past agreements in relationships that hold us back from creating healthy attachments.

I did the exercise, went to work, visited Ace for a little assistance setting up my cockroach mine field, and proceeded home to bag all my food and gleefully annihilate the prehistoric menace. As I was standing astride my sink peering deep into my cabinets with boric acid in hand, my most recent fling text messaged me. He asked about my new place. When I failed to respond immediately, he proceeded to tell me I could be a real heart breaker and to be careful how I use that power. I finally told him I wasn't trying to break his heart and that I was engaged in warfare. I told him that I didn't think we were right for each other. Of course I let him say he wasn't in love with me. You have to be gentle with people.

Sitting at my favorite coffee shop while warding off sparrows from my peanutbutter chocolate pie I bought in honor to the end of yet another possibility, I realized something. The greatest lesson I have learned in dating is to learn something from everyone I have dated. Each one has shown me something about myself I would never have known had they not been in my life. I am thankful for all they have taught me, even if it wasn't love that brought us together.

I have learned a great deal about what works, what doesn't, and am able to say goodbye sooner and in a more honoring way than before. I am learning that sometimes in love, the most valuable gift another soul can give to you is the gift of an honest assessment. Be thankful for those who take interest long enough to show you the beauty of who you are.