Tell Me What You Want

Dude, counselor people are crazy good at asking stupid simple questions which are impossible to answer! If you have this ability, you should consider a career in this particular field. You'd get paid bank, and you'd have an awesome time using your God-given ability to drive people from madness to sanity while making them mad all the while.

So, needless to say, the counselor dude that I am seeing asked me one of these questions that has me thinking hard. He said that I needed a constant reminder of what it is that I want and don't want in my life. I need to hang out with people who are going the same direction in their life that I am and to fix my course by saying no to people who are not the kind of person I want to someday be. Apparently, I am a little too social for my own good.

We also talked about future relationships. He asked me what type of relationship I wanted to have when I was married, what it would look like. I just know I want a good relationship with my husband, but I don't know exactly what that looks like. He told me I needed to make a little 3x5 index card that states what I want in a man, what I don't want in a man, and things I'd like to have in a man. That way I can carry it with me all the time, and if a conversation comes up about a deal breaker I will know it's time to walk away. I always think, "I can make this work." Other women say, "HELL NO!" So we're working on that.

This is my list. I won't tell you what each item is, a yes, maybe, or hell no, but it's nice to actually have one. Looking at it, I realized that a lot of the men I have dated wouldn't have even had a prayer if I had made this sooner, over half of them really. My girls made fun of me today for my enthusiasm when any man shows any sign of interest in me. I have settled pretty much all of my life. I am not willing to anymore.

So do you have a list, things that you have to have or can't stand? Are you living intentionally, or have you been settling for whatever scraps fall from the metaphorical table of life? It's never too late to use both your head and heart when it comes to relationships. Being single some days is hard, but I love it so much more than being in a dysfunctional relationship. And, with any luck, one day I'll meet someone who has all of the yeses, none of the hell nos, and a few maybes too. I'm going to do it with the aid of this index card and Jesus. ;)