I went to a Graham Cooke conference this week. I spent the last two days just listening to things I have never known about the love of God for me. I want to post all of my notes, but I have about 10 pages worth, and I don't know how to convey the depth of it all to you.
The conference took place in Portland, and I got to go for free because Graham spoke at GFU's chapel and furnished some free tickets for students. I got a golden ticket. WOW! I have always wanted to hear Graham speak, to meet him. He's one of my heroes of the faith along with Mother Teresa and Brennan Manning. These people exemplify the love of God to me, that crazy heart of God that accepts us, loves us, and dies for us while we are still his enemies. I know no other love like this. I know I never will. That's why it is enough to be like Him. With a love like that, I cannot lose.
Graham spoke on the four stages of sonship and growing up in God over the last two days. He spoke about how when we are an infant, we learn that we are loved just because God is love and He loves to love us because it brings Him pleasure. There is nothing we can do to earn or deserve the love of God. It just is. I have been missing this for a very long time in my relationship with God (not from a lack of Him trying to convey it to me...that's for sure). It was so freeing. I felt myself relax in the goodness of God's love. For the first time, I realized it doesn't matter what anyone else says about me or feels toward me. I am going to be just fine.
The next stage of being a son is the toddler and early childhood stage. These kiddos learn how to behave toward their peers and other people. This is learning how to love those around us and dream with God. We get to create with Him and live in the reality that nothing is impossible with God. Instead of looking at the problem, we look at a creative way to do something differently. It's inventing a strategy for going around the problem instead of working through it because there are no problems in heaven. There is no sorrow in heaven. This blew my mind. If I truly believe God can answer my prayer, "Your kingdom come, your will be done on earth as it is in heaven," I need to realize that it's going to happen in my life not by an elimination of problems, but by my acceptance of problems as an opportunity for God to show me something new about Him and to do something impossible in my life. Problems are cause for rejoicing.
Next we learned about the young adult stage of being God's kid. These folks are investing in their future, forming it, asking questions, and trying things out. They get a promise from God and just want to run after it full speed. This is a time of trying things out in the spirit, of doing instead of just wanting everything to be given. It's the time of self determination and dreaming bigger, setting the course of your life. There's a lot more. The thing that touched me the most about this particular part was that God gives us promises in order to sustain us through the tough spots of life. If He gave us a promise, He has to preform it, so it's good news because we know that we will get through whatever we're going through.
Finally, the mature son runs the family business with God. We get to partner with God in bringing heaven to earth by relying on Him fully, continually asking for the promises He's given us, and knowing that we have whatever we ask for. If God promises us something, it's not a matter of if we'll get it, but when. This is the place where the world gets turned upside down. What you see in Jesus, you become to the rest of the world around you. No complaints, no negativity, no bitterness. Jesus died for those things on the cross, and that's the most romantic thing you can give to Him. That's His stuff. Our stuff that He gives to us is joy, life, love, peace, long suffering, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness These are what we give to those around us, loving them how Jesus loves us.
This is all a process. We go from strength in the love of God to strength until we reach maturity. We never leave behind any part of our relationship with God. Rather, we take each part with us into the next stage of our journey. There is so much more that happened, so much in my heart that got tweaked, healed, and put right. Walking it out will be the challenge, but I am excited for it. I asked God what He is doing, and He said He's teaching me how to possess the promises He's given me. I love it. Going through the process helps us to stay in the promises of God once we receive them and keeps us looking for those promises until we find them. It's like the best Easter egg hunt of all time!
If you don't believe me, that's ok. I'll let you watch my life and see if this stuff really works. If you've tried and failed, know that you are dearly loved and God's not angry with you. He loves you because He is love and He delights in loving you. And, if you are stuck somewhere, know that it's God's job to pursue you. He is the Lover in this relationship. We are the Beloved. He will do what He wants when He wants. All you do is say yes to Him. That's it. And no, it's not rational, logical, or intellectual. It's foolish. But it's more fun. I've tried to be logical. It makes my heart sick and hurts my body too. I think I'll just go back to being Abba's child now, if you don't mind.
I have not attained all of this, but I am learning that it is ok. My heart is happy; my spirit is full, and I know that God has more for me than what I have planned. I love you all more than I can rightly say. I will learn to love you better.
May you know how beautiful you.
Amy
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