Someone asked me recently what is the most important thing I have learned from my past dating experience. I laughed. Do you know how much dating experience I have and how much of it has been disastrous? I could write a book full of dating lessons, what not to do. But the most important one? That's a tough call.
I think it might have actually come today. One of my best friends recommend I read a book titled Calling In The One. It deals with road blocks otherwise successful, well adjusted women put in their way when it comes to dating; the author asks those individuals to take seven weeks of daily practice to go through a lesson and exercise of some kind to help them get in touch with who they are and who they're looking for. Today was about leaving behind past agreements in relationships that hold us back from creating healthy attachments.
I did the exercise, went to work, visited Ace for a little assistance setting up my cockroach mine field, and proceeded home to bag all my food and gleefully annihilate the prehistoric menace. As I was standing astride my sink peering deep into my cabinets with boric acid in hand, my most recent fling text messaged me. He asked about my new place. When I failed to respond immediately, he proceeded to tell me I could be a real heart breaker and to be careful how I use that power. I finally told him I wasn't trying to break his heart and that I was engaged in warfare. I told him that I didn't think we were right for each other. Of course I let him say he wasn't in love with me. You have to be gentle with people.
Sitting at my favorite coffee shop while warding off sparrows from my peanutbutter chocolate pie I bought in honor to the end of yet another possibility, I realized something. The greatest lesson I have learned in dating is to learn something from everyone I have dated. Each one has shown me something about myself I would never have known had they not been in my life. I am thankful for all they have taught me, even if it wasn't love that brought us together.
I have learned a great deal about what works, what doesn't, and am able to say goodbye sooner and in a more honoring way than before. I am learning that sometimes in love, the most valuable gift another soul can give to you is the gift of an honest assessment. Be thankful for those who take interest long enough to show you the beauty of who you are.
No comments:
Post a Comment