Repentance

The pastor says something I've heard so many times it's common to me. "Repentance means to think in a new way." I have not known how to do this new thinking until recently. Maybe some of us need life spelled out a bit clearer than a half hour on Sunday provides for.

My therapist put it to me this way. The brain has habitual thoughts. If you can catch the negative ones and replace them with positive ones, you can change your outlook on life.

I have also been listening to a book on tape called, "Emotional Awareness: Overcoming the Obstacles to Psychological Balance and Compassion" by The Dalai Lana and Paul Roman, PH.D. Dr Roman has spent his career studying the human face and the signals it makes when someone has an emotion. He and the Dalai Lana both agree that happiness is not determined by wealth but is a conscious state of mind we can all achieve if we would only pay attention to our emotions. I think the Apostle Paul calls it, "taking every thought captive."

This morning when I woke up with a sinking feeling, I realized I was safe, I had what I needed, and I told myself, "This is the day the Lord has made. I will rejoice and be glad in it." When I feel like a failure and that nothing I do matters, I tell myself, "I am building something beautiful. This is not a waste of time." When I feel like the world is ending, I reassure myself that, "I am safe. This is just a part of my healing process."

It takes a lot of focus, but it's getting easier every day. Maybe one day it will be automatic, but that is a while from now. For now, I am learning to repent. It's a process worth undertaking. It brings me back to life.