Dark Side of the Moon

Dating is a lot like being in limbo. Nothing is clearly defined. You know the other person is attracted to you on some level, but what level that is might be beyond your scope or imagination.

And then there are the times you just really don't want to know how the other person feels or what they are thinking. I am finding that oversharing can kill the bond maybe even more quickly than under sharing can. Yep, there are no two ways about it, this dating thing is hard work.

I like to think that one day, I will be good enough at it to refuse a bad date before it even happens. And maybe one day, I will be so amazing at dating, that I will actually go on a date with my future husband. But for now, I am just trying to detect quality men.

To tell you the truth, I am a little intimidated by a man who takes care of himself, has his career figured out, knows what he wants in life and how to get it and loves the Lord. I am afraid that I won't be good enough for him, that he'll see my life is a work in progress and run for the hills, never to look back for fear he will turn like Lot's wife into a salty snack for the nearby livestock. I don't know how to handle a healthy relationship, and I don't want to lose someone terrific because I made a stupid mistake.

When I feel like this, I remember the beautiful character I see in Jesus. He loves me because I am, not for what I do. He knows my path, all the people I will meet and the dates I will go on before I commit my life to another soul. He is not shocked by my failures thus far, nor is he intimidated by the failings of my future. Rather he knows there will always be imperfections in my life as surly as there are weeds in the garden. And we will deal with them all one by one, striving to reach the root so that what is fruitful in my soul can be nourished properly.

When I think about it that way, it makes talking to people who love Jesus and have things in common with me less difficult. Who knows? Maybe it will lead to a date or further. The important thing is, I am learning that I am worth more than I have believed. I am worth protecting, loving, and providing for. I can be confident in knowing that I don't have to settle for less than what I want in this life. He is still the God of more than enough. I don't have to fear. He knows my needs.