Try to love again

Well, folks, I am about three quarters packed for my new abode. I am reusing boxes that have laid vacant under my bed for the past two years in anticipation of this day. It's funny the things I save. I am finding that I may have some more sorting to do once I finally do move into my new place. For now, most everything in my room is going into boxes (mostly barring the title "books") without much thought of what stays and what goes. I'm doing sorting of a different kind in my life.

I joined OKCupid about a month ago. I started seeing one guy pretty intensely there for a time. The thing is, it was just too much too fast. So I backed way off, and I am diversifying again. Apparently, I needed to revisit the insights of Venus and Mars on a Date, one of the many books I own that I highly recommend to all my single ladies. In it, author John Gray discusses the five stages of dating: attraction, uncertainty, exclusivity, intimacy, and engagement. I have been going from attraction right into intimacy for as long as I can remember. This is not a good plan for long term success. But I don't feel bad about it. Rather, I am learning from my mistakes.

I am rereading this book, and I am finding that mistakes are a part of dating. We try and see if this person is someone whom we like, whom we might be able to love, whom we might want to spend the rest of our lives with. Each time we get a no, we adjust our approach, try to be more observant so as not to run into the same problems again, and move on. Eventually, we will succeed in finding the love of our life. There is no need to worry or fear, just be smart and use both our brains and hearts.

So, I am evaluating each person, trying to ask pivotal questions, and making sure that I enjoy all the stages of dating. If it gets too intense, I dial it back and try again. There is no need to worry. Everything will be ok, and one day I too will get my happily ever after. Everything worth having in this life takes hard work. Our dreams inspire us to do the work in the first place. Without working for our dreams, they are little more than fantasies. Don't be afraid to fail in pursuit of your dreams. Try to love again. Who knows? The next one might be the keep you forever kind. And know that you're not alone in this grand adventure of dating. I am out here too.

Love you all,
Amy