First off, I don't desire your pity. It makes me feel like less of a person, and I already struggle with that enough as it is. The reason I am sharing this online at all is because I hate the secret of it, and I hope my story can help someone else to heal.
I was diagnosed with mild depression about two weeks ago. Yes, I have a mental illness. I get sad for no reason, feel like life is completely hopeless, and cannot pull myself out of my darkness despite my best efforts. Little things set me off. I don't care how people react to me. And sometimes I think not being alive is a better option than living. I have to force myself to go to work, to eat, to clean my house and get dressed and practice daily hygiene. Finding hope for the future requires effort. The daily details of life are a challenge that at times seems overwhelming. I think I am going crazy half the time and can feel totally isolated and alone in a room full of people.
The good news is my condition is very treatable. According to my psychologist, research indicates that forty minutes of exercise a day is enough to elevate happy brain chemicals (the kind I lack) for 24 hours. I have been working out three times a week to start, and I notice the difference. So does everyone at work.
Having hobbies I enjoy also is a part of my therapy. I love to paint, crochet, write poetry, listen to music and read. My therapist told me I need to do these things three times a week for about half an hour each. I feel better about myself after doing these things, and the world feels like a more inviting place too.
Eating right and journaling are also major components of my journey to health. This is a whole body disease, so to fix it, I have to pay attention to all systems.
Finally, having a support network is very important in healing. I have to be around people who are supportive four times a week for about twenty minutes. A lot of depression is about suffering in silence alone. By having other people care, there's something worth while to live for and strength to get through the lows.
Talk therapy is another component of my healing journey. I meet with a psychologist once a week for an hour to figure out where I am not thinking clearly. I am trying to stay off medication right now, and I hope I can kick these blues before long.
If you feel sad for no reason, please seek help. Life can be lovely again, and it doesn't always have to feel like the end of the world. You can be better and get better. Yes, it's a journey, but one well worth taking.
I've already seen some improvements in my symptoms, and I've only been treating them for about a week. Not everyone is that responsive, and your treatment may look different than mine, but I am so encouraged by the good feelings finally being there again.
It's nice to finally have a name for what's been wrong for so long. It's also nice to know I will be able to get well if only I don't give up. Love you all.
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